things of the past

" Oh
I love to climb a mountain
And to reach the highest peak
But it doesn't thrill me
Half as much
As dancing cheek to cheek"

Lately I have fallen in love with the music of Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra, Fred Astaire, etc. Basically anythting that came out in the first half of the 20th century.
Maybe it's the nostalgia in me that makes me appreciate this stuff but whatever it is. I'm in love.

I think this affection may have derived from my mom's taste in jazz and oldies.







For some reason this week all I have wanted to do is crochet and craft and cook alot.

I think I am ready to be a wife.

Hopefully my beloved will come soon .

When God Speaks To Me

As I grow more and more in my walk with Christ I experience the Lord speaking to me in new ways.
There once was a time where I would have said "the Lord has never spoken to me personally".
Now, anyone who knows the Lord knows that's not true. First, for a personal word from God all we have to do is open up our bibles and simply read it it ourselves.
Second, my reason for saying the above would have been because I had not heard the Lord speak to me audibly, which in my immature phases as a baby Christian I thought was the only encounter I deemed worthy. I thought that since I didn't have a radicle encounter to tell people about that it wasn't important. I thought that if I wasn't seeing angels, it wasn't important.

Now it has taken many seasons of sharpening to come to know the Lord's voice.

When he speaks to me it is a whisper, He puts thoughts in my head,
new revelations. Words from his heart that set me free.
How I know these are words from the Lord is this; If my thoughts were being ever typed in a word processor, Mine would be Times New Roman, and his would be helvetica, or sans script or something a lot more profound than my own.

It's amazing how one word from the Lord can completely renew us. His whispers in my ear are what sound the loudest in my heart.

I have learned to seek the Lord in my quiet place.

 ⁵ “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. ⁶ But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. ⁷ And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. ⁸ Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.


This passage has done wonders for my prayer life. I would often get stressed out because I didn't know how to pray right. I would fear having to pray in public for the fear of not looking holy enough. It wasn't until I realized that what I did in private and the depths of my heart was what God cared about. Not what words I chose to bless someone with. That it was what was in my spirit, and the faith that I had in God was what mattered in prayer.

This passage reminds me how amazing it is when I go to God. That I don't have to put on a face, I don't have to try to "be the right kind of person", that all I have to do is simply go before him, show him the depths of my heart and surrender. Now isn't that freeing? 

he has set a longing upon my heart.

I long for what is holy,
I Long for what is sacred,
I Long to persevere,
and never be shaken.

I long to be a mother,
I long to be a mentor,
I long to be a woman,
who has her father's favor.

I long to be broken, for those who are battered

I long to show them how greatly their lives matter.

for I know am cherished,
I know I am treasured,
I know the love the father gives me cannot be measured.

Deep wells he has dug for me,
full of prosperity.

I Long to receive,
I Long to be redeemed,
I Long for renewal,
that only the father brings.

I long for the word,
on my heart it's written,
to walk in righteousnes,
is my life's mission.

flannel scraps and fabric flowers.

 This morning I woke up and went to church with my cousins Ryan and Tracy, and their 7 month old daughter.
After church we went home and got crafty with the leftovers from last night's duvet experience.
She made a headband for Anah, and I made two bracelets.

Also we had a little fun on a tandem bike- Great workout!!

blankets, birthdays, and the blues

Yesterday, in honor of turning 18 in a week, my mom and I went out to go shopping for a blanket.
What I was looking for was a fluffy flannel blanket just like the one my aunt and uncle have. It is like wrapping yourself in a blanket of heaven- so comfortable.

We went all around looking for one. We went to K-Mart, Wal-mart, Kohl's, and bed bath and beyond, and did not find a single flannel blanket. The whole day was super hectic and emotionally draining. My hormones were going haywire on me for some reason, causing everything to make me sad and weepy.

Finally, we decided to give up and go to Chipotle and treat ourselves after a stressful day of shopping. (Most shopping days end up that way)

Lo and behold there was a Joann's Fabrics across the parking lot from Chipotle.
We decided since we couldn't find what we were looking for we would just make one.

We decided to make a flannel duvet cover to put on a down comforter that I already had.

My mom did most of the sewing, and I did a lot of the cutting, and pinning, and ironing seems.
We watched the movie Ever After, with Drew Barrymore while we did it. I love that movie. It makes me so excited to find my charming, regal, man of honor.


God Bless,
Breezie

ho hum

Today sure had its ups and downs.

I got up early this morning to go running with Heidi. It went well.

I am working on getting to bed at a decent time, along with waking up early.
I just want to be productive. I don't feel like I have been productive for a long time. 

I have gotten in a habit of being so busy, I don't know what to do in my free time other than vegging out. That has got to stop. I am 18 in 12 days.

God has really laid on my heart to really step into the calling of adulthood. Which means spending my time, money, and energy wisely. I don't want to spend the beginning of my adulthood still acting like a child.
I see so many "adults" around me still operating out of immaturity and foolishness. That will not be me. The Lord has put a sense of seriousness on my heart for this year. That means I need to get down to business and operate in the maturity and discipline that the Lord has for me.

I also will be praying for peers who are sensing the same calling.

The Lord is rising us up into true biblical christianity. I believe he's going to separate us from this consumerist, cultural Christianity, and is going to lead us into true worship and communion with the father.
Why? Because the only thing that is going to renew us is divine experience with the Lord of Lords.
Why are we letting the novelties of Christian living preoccupy us? Why are we wasting so much time on the wrapping paper and ribbons and bows, when we have this amazing gift of relationship with the father?
The only thing that is going to give you peace of mind is a meeting with him. There are no shortcuts.

a night on the town.

Heidi and I went out for a celebration dinner.

What were we celebrating? QUITTING. We both quit our job nannying some insane kids.
Now, it doesn't really make sense going out to eat at an expensive restaurant after quitting your job, but it sure felt good.




my dress- T.J. Maxx- 10 bucks
my necklace- rue 21- 1.50